A win and loss

A win - yes, a win for your wretch - and grim news that challenges optimism. Well, it changes all aspects of hope.

But first, the good news. Into the dungeon came a surprise note that said I had won third prize for my book marker design. Third prize!

On my next message secreted out through the high security walls in the dead of night I'll let you know how the design looks and what inspired it.

But there was a bombshell this week. The landlords have still to do of the two most important reports to accompany my dossier that goes towards the possibility of parole.

I have been chasing the uniforms to get the reports finshed. Well, chasing is too strong a word for this world. I've been nagging them and I nag them every day. And after all the assurances I received, it seemed that they were done.

However, the fellow in the role of what they call the lifer panel clerk said the reports have not been done. He issued a warning this week. 'Due to national backlogs, Gordon,' he said, 'your parole hearing will now be about eight weeks late ... if not more.

'This,' he declared, 'means no parole hearing until December. 'But listen, Gordon. If those reports are not completed and handed in, there will be no parole hearing.'

I told the good man,'It's a real kick in the guts after all the work that I have done on my representation.'

'You have done good work, Gordon. Seventy-two pages long, if I remember correctly.'

'You do, gov.'

'Well, Gordon, I pray that it's not delayed further. Because if it's delayed further, then you know what will happen.'

'Tell me what will happen, gov'.'

'Then, Gordon, all the reports will be considered out of date. Including the 72 pages.'

'You mean I'd have to start the whole process all over again?'

'Frankly, Gordon, what I'm getting at is that you would have to start the whole process all over again. I hope that's not too great a shock for you.'

'I think it is too great a shock, gov.'

'Pull yourself together, man. You're safely in prison. Good job, accommodation assured, good food, your mates all around, excellent officers. There's the many out there in the financially-disastered world would like to be in your shoes, Gordon, just mark my words.'

That left me looking for blessings to count. One that surfaced is that there's three years of tariff to run. So even if I have to begin all over again - God forbid - at least I'll have a roof over my head for three years to do it. I thought of the roof and all that lies under it and I admit I had trouble imagining the horde that might wish they were here instead of me.
- Roger Gordon