Nod and a wink

When prison existence gets a bit too much and I ask those in authority why I'm not so much closer to being released, I often hear the same answer: 'Tell a little white lie, say you did kill your wife and you're sorry for it, and then you can progress normally.'

So often it does seem the only way out. The nod and a wink shows, presumably, that no-one in charge dares admit that the system can make a mistake.

However, had they been present at the trial, had they compared the force of the Prosecution's case with the timidity of the answers by the so-called Defence, then they would understand how easy it is for juries to get it wrong.

The fact of the matter is that I didn't kill Anita, and my innocence is the reason why I am being treated worse than if I had done it.

The reality seems to be that if I don't say that I am her murderer, I might be here forever.

As a senior prison officer told me,'Look, Roger, go guilty and you will be rendered eligible to participate in the accredited courses designed for guilty offenders.

'And having completed these courses the parole board can feel comfortable about recommending release.

'You see, they'll have a safety net of saying that you looked eligible on paper, and by then you will have completed the recognised programmes.'

So I said to the man in the smart uniform, 'What if you are innocent and don't need rehabilitating?'

'Roger, please, everyone needs rehabilitating. If you complete our programmes, we can say that this man is rehabilitated and is safe in society.'

'But I was safe in society for 53 years. Why because a jury is misled am I considered not to be?'

'Are you listening, Roger? It is not what you are not considered to be but what you are considered to be. Pass the programmes and you are considered to be fit for society.'

I said, 'You're admitting, guv', that the system is certainly flawed for people who are innocent of the crime they have been imprisoned for.'

'You can have a car in perfect condition, but you still need that little bit of paper to prove it is perfect. Do you remember what people call this little bit of paper?'

'MOT.'

'You're exactly right, Gordon. And when you have said "I put my hands up to it", then you'll be on the programme and you'll get your MOT and be in the queue for returning to society.'

Roger Gordon