Silver lining for an innocent enemy of society

Our families and most of the UK worry what economic horrors the government will unleash on us on 20th October.

The government seems determined to slash billions from the cost of running the country, and what with that promised VAT increase, the future looks very grim indeed.

And yet there's one side of life that just might find itself better off. It seems - fingers crossed - the vast numbers in prison are to be radically reduced.

So while the media portrays us inside - whether, like me, the prisoners are not guilty, or if they are one-mistakers, or rated as recidivists - as enemies of society, we are the one sector likely to be better off.

While people out there worry gloomily about October, giving the name itself the bleakest sound, our residents see word October as a sort of password to joy.

'October, October, October!' they cry with smiles that we aren't used to exercising.

Not only do we believe that the government is going to slash prison numbers, everyone inside seems to accept that the government will be forced to implement recent changes in European Law. This means that people cannot be held in captivity at the whim of a bureaucrat.

The EU says we must do our tariff - and not a day more.

Nowadays, lifers do their tariff as a basic stretch, and then wait and wait for a bureaucrat to decide if they are 'ready' for society. It's as if the bureaucrats think they are cleverer than judges.

Well, perhaps, no more. If the powers that be do obey legislation and accept the law of Europe, many prisoners believe a miracle will happen.

The gates of misery will fling open. All those over their tariff will go home.

'Blimey,' said Frank, a couple of cells along from me, full of smiles and tears, 'we're going 'ome, Roge. We're goin' 'ome. At last.'

Frank doesn't have many bags, but they are packed ready. And all around it's Chinese whispers and gleeful excitement. Happy expectation shows in the chat and winks and nods on the wings.

However, when the next bang-up comes around and they return to the cells that have been their home for years, faces fall.

The right wing redtops they read and like continue to show that the affection is certainly not returned, and there's no hint in those biased columns about true justice - nor any desire for it.

I've been inside for eight years, and so many have been in for very much longer. Like me, many of these people are not guilty of the crimes that the quirky envy of the world sent them down for, and threw away the keys.

I believed in British justice before it all happened, and now I have a different feeling. Now I will wait to see the official letter addressed to Yours Truly before I believe anything.

As for the others, well, experience tells me that if the government does comply with the EU ruling, only a few will be allowed out. They'll find a way to hold to the status quo for a good time to come. They always do.

I don't say it to Frank, but I fear he and so many of his kind will be left very disappointed and bitter.

However, your patient correspondent does have what looks like good news. The solicitor has - at last - got through to the parole board. He's told them straight. List me for an oral hearing, or we'll go straight for a judicial review.

Who knows what twists and turns will be thrown as obstacles into my path. But it does feel like a sort of progress - something you learn never to expect in English prisons. Why, it's not impossible now that I could be on my way to open prison next year - a year ahead of what seems at present to be the likelihood.

Strange isn't it. Here's me recording that my very best hope is that I might go to a less restrictive prison next year. Remember, this is a fellow who came home from work one night to find his wife murdered.

The boys in blue couldn't pin it on the killer for reasons you'll find in my website. So they prosecuted me instead. They didn't prove my guilt because they couldn't for the simple reason they know I didn't do it.

But they have their professionals. They sold the idea to the jury. And the best I can hope for from British justice - envy of the world - is that I might go to an easier prison.

- Roger Gordon

Anyway got the time? Yes, me ...

Volunteering is a way of doing good for others and making you feel good knowing that you are doing good, and at the same time doing good for your own personal CV.

It seems a positive way to pass the time for me. I am inside for murder, which I know I didn't do, and others know I didn't do.

But in the Criminal Justice System - envy of the world, they used to say - they like to keep their intrays manageable. Better to know secretly that the wrong man is in prison than it is to tell your political masters that you can't pin a crime on the killer himself.

(The irony is that I am pretty sure I know who killed my wife and I am ninety-point-nine sure that the CJS knows, too. However, for reasons that might well be clear to you on my website, the State can't get him.)

So I am always on the lookout for places where I can help in a positive way. After all, I am a motor mechanic, I used to drive taxis, I am pretty quick when it comes to crossword puzzles, and I feel I could teach people who can't to read.

About six weeks ago, I saw an opportunity that looked just made for your scribe. NACRO works in the residence here and was looking for a fellow to clean and tidy-up. As I say, I could be teaching real skills, but NACRO wasn't advertising that sort of work.

Never mind, I thought, I'll be an orderly, as they call a general dogsbody.

I thought that when they look at my details, they'll see I have plenty to offer. I was summoned for an interview.

It was a surprise when I didn't get a reply straight away. (Straight away in this hidden part of the world is about a fortnight.)

Then three weeks came, four weeks. I was really surprised, and naturally not a little disappointed. Five weeks passed, then six. And at last came a reply with praise for the way I conducted myself in the interview.

I was calm and confident, they said. But, 'No, not successful.'

That was a disappointment. Like the injustice of serving a life sentence, there is no real appeal. So there I was for a day or two feeling very dejected and wondering. Gerrymandering? I thought. Ageism? There's no doubt that prison is making an old man of me.

And then the mood passed. Thanks to the CJS and our politicians, I've certainly got the time to wait for another opening in NACRO when I can volunteer again. Dear God, if there's one thing I do have, it's time.

- Roger Gordon

A prison health warning: Don't get sick!

Ouch! After the pleasure of the family day visit, I came down to earth with an unpleasant bump.

My old friend neuralgia came visiting. It brings an excruciating pain to the side of my face and scalp.

I used to answer it with Dextropropoxyphene which helped with the pain. But here in prison the only medication permitted is paracetamol.

It's comparable with building sand castles to stop a tsunami. Mother would have approved, I acted like a brave soldier over the weekend and suffered in silence.

I did deprive me of sleep for 48 hours, but I rode out the storm.

Perhaps if the suffering had not abated, I might have been allowed something stronger. However, the unbending rules here might have required more than me beating the cell door with my head to get the message across that poor old Roger was really in pain.

Woe betide anyone in here with serious health issues.
- Roger Gordon

Links:
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Nod and a wink

When prison existence gets a bit too much and I ask those in authority why I'm not so much closer to being released, I often hear the same answer: 'Tell a little white lie, say you did kill your wife and you're sorry for it, and then you can progress normally.'

So often it does seem the only way out. The nod and a wink shows, presumably, that no-one in charge dares admit that the system can make a mistake.

However, had they been present at the trial, had they compared the force of the Prosecution's case with the timidity of the answers by the so-called Defence, then they would understand how easy it is for juries to get it wrong.

The fact of the matter is that I didn't kill Anita, and my innocence is the reason why I am being treated worse than if I had done it.

The reality seems to be that if I don't say that I am her murderer, I might be here forever.

As a senior prison officer told me,'Look, Roger, go guilty and you will be rendered eligible to participate in the accredited courses designed for guilty offenders.

'And having completed these courses the parole board can feel comfortable about recommending release.

'You see, they'll have a safety net of saying that you looked eligible on paper, and by then you will have completed the recognised programmes.'

So I said to the man in the smart uniform, 'What if you are innocent and don't need rehabilitating?'

'Roger, please, everyone needs rehabilitating. If you complete our programmes, we can say that this man is rehabilitated and is safe in society.'

'But I was safe in society for 53 years. Why because a jury is misled am I considered not to be?'

'Are you listening, Roger? It is not what you are not considered to be but what you are considered to be. Pass the programmes and you are considered to be fit for society.'

I said, 'You're admitting, guv', that the system is certainly flawed for people who are innocent of the crime they have been imprisoned for.'

'You can have a car in perfect condition, but you still need that little bit of paper to prove it is perfect. Do you remember what people call this little bit of paper?'

'MOT.'

'You're exactly right, Gordon. And when you have said "I put my hands up to it", then you'll be on the programme and you'll get your MOT and be in the queue for returning to society.'

Roger Gordon